Individual separation situations: Every separation requires a different strategy!

On the first two pages of my paper "An effective 5-point plan to win his / n ex back" we talked about whether it is the right decision, his / n ex to win back how to get the correct starting point creates for this endeavor, which errors are to be avoided and which tips the daily use of the heartache help.

In the following I would like to continue my contribution now and speak to recover with you over the next two important tips and strategies for ex-partner. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my colleague Anne breakfast lover who has supported me while writing this post with their knowledge and experience. We go to this page, click the following one:

     Individual separation situations: Every separation requires a different strategy! Or not?
     The six phases of a separation. And how these feelings, behavior and opinions of the ex-partner's influence.

My colleague Anne breakfast lover and I hope you enjoy reading.
Every separation is different: Individual separation situations

It would be nice if there was a universal strategy that works in all cases easy. Unfortunately, I know and my colleagues from the team of experts that strategy but even after years of work in the relationship advice is no such strategy. While it is well proven basic strategies, such as our ex back strategy is, have less number of steps of this basic strategy are adopted to our separation situation depending on the situation or more.

First, you have to but once clear about what actually are the peculiarities of its own situation. What is their own separation from others and what she has with most separations differs in common?

The following features help to classify his individual situation separation into a category:

     Your age and the age of your ex-partner
     Your gender and the gender of your / s Ex
     The personalities of the two partners
     The duration of your relationship
     The separation of law and relationship problems
     How much time they have spent (daily)?
     Your expectations and your ex-partner in a happy relationship with a future
     You or your / e ex have / had an affair or relationship with someone else?
     Do you have children together?

One could add to this list by several points. Factors such as the job situation, the partners, their family, common friends & contacts, and more also affect the optimal strategy. To get an idea of the most common separation situations, you can familiarize yourself on the following link with the various situations of our separation Ex-Back Practice Handbook: "For Ex Back Practical Guide

It is therefore necessary to determine which characteristics of their own separation situation are more "normal" and occur in nearly all separations, and which occur rarely and therefore require special measures are not in a universal strategy so. Make yourself at these points please once thought.
The five stages of separation

There are different approaches to the separation of different phases in psychology. While some concepts of only 4 separation phases go out, go out from other approaches significantly more phases. My colleagues and I are broken up by the team, separation into the following five phases:
This apple symbolizes a separation.

     Phase 1: The Shock
     Phase 2: The Non-International Have Wool
     Phase 3: The eruption of emotions
     Phase 3b: The Reconquest
     Phase 4: The Reunion
     Phase 4b: Releasing
     Phase 5: The reorientation

Phase 1 - The shock

This phase usually lasts between one and ten hours. Our (ex-) partner has just informed us that he separates from us, and we have not even really understand what is going on. In our head there is a shock and an emotional and mental chaos. Since this phase in the moment in which we achieved the separation message begins, it often begins in the presence of (ex-) partner (unless the separation is performed by SMS, chat or e-mail), and ends a few hours later, at the latest when you wake up the next morning. (if you can because sleep at all)

For this separation phase there is only one important tip: Accept the decision of your (ex) partner, do not discuss and avoid the typical errors (. See "Ex-Back emergency aid package")
Phase 2: The Non-International Have Wool

Immediately following the initial shock follows the non-true-Do Want phase. We do not really understand is that we have become the single, deny the separation in some cases, waiting for a sign of our / m ex that he or she has not meant that way. True to the motto "Hope dies last" we fervently hope the redemptive call or redeeming SMS or e-mail in which we our / e ex confesses that he or she is still in love head over heels for us ,

This second phase separation takes only a few hours to a maximum of one day. Some skip this phase completely.

Analogous to the separation phase 1, it is also important at this stage to commit any of the typical mistakes and to focus on to process his feelings and his own emotions cool down a little.
Sad man in the third phase separation
Phase 3: The eruption of emotions

After the phases 1 and 2 through after about a day now breaks the world together for most. We recognize the full extent of our situation and close our reality no longer: We are single! But unfortunately, not at his own request, but because we have been made without our consent to the single.

The lovelorn seeks us home with all its consequences: we are sad, yes partially depressed, listless and desperate. We feel lonely and alone and ask ourselves what meaning life without our / should have n Ex.

But often we have found the solution to our problem quickly, we will easily regain our / Ex n and the next days and weeks just concentrate on this new mission in life. We therefore proceed into the next phase 4a.

However, there are a few people who really accept the separation from the first moment and focus directly on a fresh start without the ex-partner. For these people, following the Phase 3 Phase 4b: letting go.
Phase 4: The Reconquest

Phases 3 and 4a run partly on parallel and then go sneaking into each other. All those who look like the vast majority of those affected the best way out of their situation in her / n ex to retake the phase 4a through initially almost parallel to the Phase 3b, the outbreak of emotions.
Recapture - Rose

Unlike the people who despite her lovesickness and their feeling outbreak choose not to conquer her / n ex back and then never come 4a in this phase, the phases 3 and 4 for all other are a regular up and down the feelings. For while those who have accepted their future as a single from the outset, feel better from week to week as her / e Ex gets into oblivion think all the other every day at their ex-partners and how they win him back can. Here, as I said, we throw ourselves often in a sense Chaos: One day we are in high spirits, just because our / r Ex replied to one of our messages or calls (which as of course also interpret the same as a signal of interest) and a day later crashes our mood from your previous high suddenly to the lowest depths of lovesickness, because our / e ex suddenly seems not to be interested, has ignored our last text message or our last call, or perhaps with another man or another woman was spotted. Days and weeks, we wonder whether we really have a chance to win our / n ex back or not.

Herein lies the difficulty: we have a real chance, for example by choosing the right strategy and practices to reconnect with our / m ex, so "worth" the phase 3b, even if we love heartache life may more difficult to make. In this case, we are also perhaps soon again a lot happier than he who did not even bother trying to get his / n ex to win back. Perhaps our heartache even heard very quickly again to the past.

But what if all our efforts are in vain and we still stand even after several weeks, perhaps even months without our ex-partner? If we had decided to stay in the phase 3a against a reconquest of our ex-partner, then we would have long since been forgotten again would be quite different problems and feelings of heartbreak, lethargy and depression.

For this reason, I have discussed in the first part of my contribution as the first item with you, what tips and key points will help you meet in the phase 3 the right decision. No one should suffer any longer than necessary. If we try our / n to win back ex, then we should also have a good chance that our efforts are successful. This is a proven strategy that takes into account all the important facets indispensable. At this point I would like all readers once again our ex back triangle recall illustrating a beautiful and easy way which vertices should be contained in a good strategy:
The love-triangle t Care

The duration of the phase 3b varies greatly depending on the situation and personality. You can only end one of two ways: either we can use our / n ex back successfully convince us and come back with him or her along (-> Phase 5b), or we see the futility of our efforts at some time and now pass through the phase 4b We accept the separation, a "let go" once and for all.
Phase 4b: Releasing

Who in the Phase 3: The eruption of emotions come to the realization that it is useless to try to win his ex-partner back, which will hopefully sooner rather than later passed Phase of letting go.

At this stage we have finally accepted the separation and begin to finally return to a "afterlife" to believe. The Wisdom of Life "Time heals all wounds" describes this phase very well: With each passing day we are less hopeless and depressed. We start slowly but surely, to lead a normal, balanced and happy life. Although we think every now and again to our / n ex, but we always succeed better to shake off these thoughts. The grief that our ex-partner usually triggers a thought goes back farther and gives way to a more objective and rational approach: It just did not need to be.

How long does it take to the stage of letting go into the next phase "5a: The reorientation" goes, depends very much on the separation situation, relationship duration, and of his own personality. While some people show an astonishing degree of self-control, initiative and "positive energy", other personalities tend to her grief and her lovesick surrender fully to drown himself in her sorrow. On the other hand one should fight but in any case. Valuable tips to offer especially our guide "SOS: First aid tips for lovers" and our second practice manual "Typical mental and emotional problems during the separation."
Phase 5: The reorientation

Once we have disowned us about the feelings of our ex-partner and successfully released, we begin to live again properly and to bring our soul and emotions back into a healthy balance. We "orient ourselves" and focus on our new future. We think as good as not at all to our / n ex, but live like everyone else, spared from lovesickness, people: We are working or going to school or university, we meet friends, go after our hobbies and are willing to may soon meet a new partner.
Reorientation - question mark

We often provide the latest at this stage how much our life was focused on our / n Ex. By The relationship is suddenly us much more free time than previously available, we can use for ourselves and should! There are endless things that make a lot of fun and joy even without a partner! We should not deny these things, but actively use our new leisure!
Phase 5b: The Reunion

If you manage to convince his / n ex again and to awaken love in him or her again, so you go from phase to phase 4b 5b. This phase starts with feelings of happiness, as they rarely experienced in life, then slowly in the "normal" happy feelings that can be felt generally in a relationship flatten.

Depending on the situation and personality of a person, the phase separation of reunification (in the beginning) but is not exclusively dominated by feelings of happiness. In some cases, we also feel a recurring fears of renewed separation which haunts us regularly and us some difficult hours, sometimes even days preparing. Our fear may be justified or unjustified, and they can have different causes. The most typical reasons for our fears of renewed separation are:

     either our own lack of self-esteem and our own insecurity,
     or certain character and behavior of our partner, which leads us to believe he or she would be his thing but not sure and had not yet returned in love with us
     or a combination of both.

In most cases, their own separation anxiety is caused by a combination of lack of self-worth Chill, uncertainty, and certain behavior of the partner. The latter brings a often a vicious circle:
Reunion - pair

     The behavior and character of the partner lead to insecurity and weaken self-confidence.
     Insecure people with low self-esteem are less attractive.
     The less attractive it looks, the greater the likelihood that the love of the partner (again) subsides and he draws a separation again considered. This is reflected in his behavior back then of course.

That is why we must after a successful recapture our / s Ex not bask in our success, but also need right now and continue to work on our attractiveness and our relationship. If you are currently in this exact situation, I can recommend at this point two very interesting and helpful Counselor our team of experts:

     "Being attractive and confident!" The guide contains comprehensive advice and strategies to sustainably increase the 7 modules of their own attractiveness. "Being attractive and confident" can also be purchased at a package price as part of the ex back system both individually:
     »More information about guidebook" Being attractive and confident! "
     Our relationship and marriage bestseller "divorce? No, thank you! "Is aimed at anyone who was able to regain her / n ex and now want to ensure that the relationship from now on also keeps permanently. Anyone who administers his relationship or marriage, the daily "vitamins", also need not fear a renewed separation have.
     »More information about Love-Care bestseller" divorce? No Thanks! "

Phase 4 - Reunion usually ends insidious: Either she goes slowly, week after week, in a happy relationship without worrying about, or it ends in a renewed separation. Say: She is in the "Phase 1: The shock" over. I wish you all that it's not so far come to you, but that you can take credit your patience and work in the form of a long, filled with happiness and satisfaction relationship.
What goes through my separation phases / e ex?

On this question there are many different answers, because it depends entirely on the emotions felt by our ex-partner for us, and his attitude towards our (former) relationship from.
Happy couple

Is it our / r Ex rather difficult to separate from us, and he feels or perhaps even strong feelings of friendship, or maybe even love to us, it is our ex-partner immediately after separation either the Phase 3: the outbreak of the feelings or the phase 4b through releasing. Are his feelings for us almost completely subsided, he is from the start of Phase 5a: The reorientation.

It is obvious that our / e Ex depending on the separation phase, he or she is going through, can react quite differently to different behaviors and actions, and will. It is, of course, in the nature of things that our / e is generally easier to win ex back if he or she finds itself in the phase 3 or 4b. Here we can offer our ex-partners often persuade with relatively small changes and simple tips from us again, because his decision is, in many cases already fluctuate strongly on. Going through our / e ex contrast, the phase 5a, that is already in the new orientation, so patience is required. The reconquest takes time and number of steps that we utilize in a thoughtful and cross-sectoral strategy (see. The Ex-Back triangle) implement targeted every day.

Therefore, we should try to estimate as accurately as possible, in which phase separation, our ex-partner is located. Since our own perception is often clouded something in particular by our strong emotions, it is useful to consider a good friend or family member for help and ask for his opinion. So it should be possible in most cases, quite accurately assess the situation, the feelings and the separation phase of our ex-partner.

Based on this assessment, we should choose our strategy and adapt to the situation. For as repeatedly described in my post, different situations require different measures if we want to have a realistic and highest possible chance to be in the future with our ex-partner.